


Truth or Drink

by hermanthejanitor



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 19:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10815402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermanthejanitor/pseuds/hermanthejanitor
Summary: A very fluffy fic inspired by these videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4QoJNc_rHE and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbyNom0C0sU . It's basically just Jake and Amy being in a youtube video, answering questions, and being super cute.





	Truth or Drink

**Introduction**

Off camera: Are you guys ready to play?

Jake: Bring it! (pumps fist in air)

 

Amy rolls her eyes.

 

Amy: This is going to go poorly.

 

They play rock, paper, scissors far too competitively, and Jake whoops when he wins.

 

**Question 1**

Jake reads card and laughs.

 

Jake: Wow, you guys are getting right into it. (Turns to Amy _) What was on your mind the last time we were having sex?_

 

Amy: What? Oh my god, are you kidding me?

 

Jake’s grin widens.

 

Jake: Nope, Ames, the people want to know.

 

Amy turns pink and Jake leans forward in his chair, studying his partner seriously.

 

Jake: Was it colour-coded binders? The duodecimal system? Steve Harvey? My butt? Oh my god, it was totally my butt.

 

Amy tries to send Jake a stern look, but the slight upturn of her lips diminishes its effect.

 

Jake: (shaking his head) For shame, Ames, you need to keep your mind out of the gutter.

 

Amy: How? The question’s _about_ sex!

 

Jake: (tutting) What would Holt say?

 

Amy glares at Jake with dancing eyes, pursing her lips.

 

Amy: Nope, I’m not going to answer.

 

Jake sings “Shots” by LMFAO as he pours Amy a drink. She downs it in one, wincing slightly, and Jake cheers.

 

**Question 2**

Amy reads the question and snorts.

 

Amy: _how many people have you slept with?_

 

Jake frowns.

 

Jake: I don’t know, who cares? It’s just a number, and numbers suck. It’s like maths.

 

Amy: Hey, you know what’s more fun than maths? A shot!

 

She hands him a glass of tequila and he laughs.

 

Amy: You know what’s even more fun than that? Two shots!

 

She pours out another shot and he chuckles.

 

Jake: Amy Santiago, you’re a bad influence on me.

 

He drinks both shots. She steals one of his glasses and pours herself some vodka, sipping her chaser as the burning drink slides down her throat.

**Question 3**

Jake: _Something I do that irritates you_. (Looks at the camera) How much time do you have?

 

Amy: Oh god, where do I start?

 

Jake: If you say my sneakers, I might just cry.

 

Amy: Can I say just say everything? Is that too vague?

 

Jake raises an eyebrow and Amy rolls her eyes.

 

Amy: Fine. Ok, it would have to be the not flossing. I don’t want to have to make out with someone with wooden teeth.

 

Jake: Oh, please; if I got fake teeth, they’d be solid gold, baby.

 

Amy: That’s so practical, and I’m sure it’d help with the crushing debt.

 

Jake waves her away with a dismissive hand and they laugh.

 

**Question 4**

Amy reads the card and crows.

 

Amy: Oh my god, yes! Jake, if you don’t answer this, I will for you: _the craziest thing you’ve ever done sexually with an ex_?

 

Jake balks and shakes his head vigorously.

 

Jake: Come on Ames, my Mum might watch this!

 

Amy: The people want to know! (Amy beams, watching Jake’s face with amusement).

 

Jake slumps back in his chair, arms folded, pouting at the table.

 

Jake: So, I kind of went out with this medical examiner from our precinct…

 

Amy: He had dead people sex!

 

Jake: Ames! (flicks Amy’s arm) It’s my question, butt out. But, yeah, that happened, and I’m only slightly ashamed.

 

Amy: You were in a cold locker!

 

Jake looks betrayed, but a slight smile tugs at his lips.

 

Jake: Ok, you need another shot, two-drink Amy is mean.

 

Amy: Only if you do.

 

They drink.

**Question 5**

Jake reads the card and grins, lounging back in his chair with an elbow on the backrest, one leg extended and one bent under him.

 

Jake: _Last time you masturbated and where was I?_

 

Amy reddens slightly, wiggling in her seat in a fidgeting dance, before meeting Jake’s amused eyes.

 

Jake: Go on Ames (leans forward with a wicked grin) you can tell me.

 

Amy: Shut up, doofus, you already know!

 

Jake gives a cocky shrug and slouches back again, surveying his girlfriend with a smirk.

 

Amy: (addressing the camera) It may or may not have been yesterday…and Jake may or may not have been there.

 

Jake: It was hot! (yelps as Amy kicks him under the table)

 

Jake holds up his hands in surrender and Amy gives up, dancing in her seat and humming “This is how we do it”.

 

**Question 6**

Amy reads card and cocks her head thoughtfully, still doing a wiggling dance in her seat.

 

Amy: _Least favourite and favourite sexual position?_

 

Jake purses his lips, elbows on the table as he exchanges a considering glance with Amy.

 

Jake: Least favourite would maybe be reverse cowgirl? I don’t know, I like to see her face.

 

Amy shoots him an affectionate look and nods.

 

Jake: And favourite? Probably being on top.

 

Amy smirks, cocking her head innocently.

 

Amy: I thought it was “dead person just pooled out of a river”?

 

Jake: (Pointing at Amy) Ok, shut up, shut up forever.

 

Amy: Maybe if we do another shot…

 

Jake raises an eyebrow but takes the drink.

**Question 7**

Jake: _Average duration of sex for most couples is 10 minutes, how long do you think we last?_

 

Amy: (smirking seductively) I’m sure we’ll manage more than that later.

 

Jake looks startled for a moment but then grins, fingers tapping against the table as he shakes his head at Amy.

 

Jake: (Looks off camera) Oh man, she’s gone, she’ll tell you anything now.

 

Amy: I would say we’re probably about average, depends whether or not we have work.

 

Amy’s thoughtful expression dissolves and a proud smile overtakes her face.

 

Amy: We can definitely out sex all of you though! (She high fives a laughing Jake)

 

Jake winks at the camera, and doesn’t move when Amy trails a finger along his forearm.

 

**Question 8**

Jake: _What would you think if you caught me watching porn?_

 

Amy winks flirtatiously, making Jake snort.

 

Amy: Seems pretty normal to me.

 

Jake: Oh, yeah? Well, four-drink Amy _lives_ like she’s in a porno.

 

Amy: (eyes wide and innocent) There’s nothing wrong with that.

 

Jake laughs but doesn’t disagree.

**Question 9**

It’s the final card, and Amy reads it slowly. Her lopsided grin fades, replaced by a gentle and affectionate expression.

 

Amy: _Why do you love me?_

 

Jake smiles, not a smile or amusement or excitement, but a soft smile that overtakes his lips like a tide.

 

Jake: I don’t know, maybe I have a secret kink for alphabetising takeaway menus.

 

Off camera: (laughing) Oh my god, you guys tease each other so much!

 

Amy rolls her eyes and makes as if to move on, but Jake speaks up again.

 

Jake: There’s no one’s opinion that I care about more than hers.

 

A hint of colour reaches Amy’s cheeks, and she glances down at the table, before looking up to meet his eyes. They stare at each other for half an instant, soft brown eyes mirroring one another and alight with warmth.

 

Jake breaks the eye-contact, turning to the camera.

 

Jake: Oh, and she’s super good in the sack.

 

Amy: Jake! (Slaps his arm)

 


End file.
